09
Jul
09

a night like this …

Yesterday I was feeling very, how shall we say … antsy.  Uptight, on edge, teetering on the brink.  I searched the internet for something, anything to help.  Thinking of meditation (this scene is reminiscent of the first time that Manny and Bernard meet in Black Books – “give me the little book of calm, I NEED the Little Book of Calm”) I found a free introductory course being given by the London Meditation Centre – so I went along last night.

I expected it to be in a centre of some sort – however it was in someone’s 2nd floor flat in Notting Hill.  Entering a room of people who are being introduced to meditation is always going to be a bit weird.  You look around you, you check people out, wondering why they’re there.  Are they stressed like you?  Are they searching for something deeper within themselves? Do they believe or are they sceptics?

The talk ensued with some very NLP based language, designed (as I discovered later) to relax us and coerce us.  I was suckered.  Veda Meditation seemed the thing for me (despite the fact that one minute it had been around for 5,000 years, then 10,000 – creationists beware!).  I was excited about the prospect of having my own personal mantra, which would tap into the ‘charm’ and work, apparently, like a charm on my life.  My life would be transformed I was promised, within a couple of weeks.  I wouldn’t give up being human, and having human emotions, but I would be more capable of dealing with them in a rational and calm way.

Added to that, they informed us that there was a ‘sliding scale’ based on your income, that would cover the fees.  They wanted EVERYONE to be able to participate in this wonderful transformation.

After completing a form at the end, I sat around chatting with a few other women about life in general.  Then I was asked if I wanted to go into the other room as I wanted to discuss how much it would cost me.  The other room was a bedroom and the chair I was asked to sit on was a red one.  I wondered why he was so specific! I still don’t know.  Anyway – he gave me a few numbers to calculate how much it would cost me.  I worked it out at £110.  However, he seemed perturbed by this, and stated that the normal fee for students (e.g. the unwaged) would be £250 and that I could pay it in 2 to 3 month installments.  It seemed awfully high however I thought if it was that good then I would find the money.  There had been no mention before of ‘minimum charge’.

After we had all spoken to the guy about ‘money’ I went for a drink with the other girls.  Doubts started creeping in my mind.  Something just didn’t seem right.  It still doesn’t feel right.  I’ve taken the decision based on my gut feelings.  Despite how much I want to learn this skill and use it in my day to day life, at the moment, £250 is a lot of money.  That would mean me finding a ‘spare’ (approx) £75 a month.  Something I just don’t have.

Still, I met some fantastic women, and I’m still on my journey.

So if anyone knows of a Veda meditation class that WON’T cost me £250 for 8 hours then please – let me know!

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