That’s enough about my personal life – since doing that what have I been collecting?  Well … I now have a ridiculous amount of  paper ephemera to scan in.  In my move my old scanner broke however my new scanner arrived yesterday so if you go to my Flickr photostream you’ll find a load of new images.  These are only for personal use however they are fun to use!

These are my vintage cookery books – generally picked up on Deptford Market   Now there’s a surprise.  At the moment I’m only getting around to scanning in sample pages however there’s an interesting ‘Gas’ cookery book and a wicked 1970s WeightWatchers book.  I LOVE the drawings in it.

Then there are my knitting patterns.  Please don’t ask me why I collect knitting patterns because I don’t knit  (to be fair – I don’t cook much either).  However – how could you resist buying knitting patterns like this?  LOOK AT HIM!  he’s someone’s son and SOMEONE decided to put him on a knitting ad.  He looks like a kid from Children of the Corn.

So if you click on that image you’ll find many more like this   ENJOY!

So … I’ve decided that as a trial, until December 31st, apart from the obvious (food, toiletries, underwear) everything I’m going to buy is going to be second hand.  This will include Christmas presents.  I know other people have done this, and I’m not doing it for some ‘I’m going to blog this to death’  – it’s simply for me really.  So, I’m afraid that for the people whose birthdays are coming up, your presents are either going to be homemade or recycled!

Recently I’ve had some AWESOME second hand purchases – all of which I’ll photograph at some point – but fashionistas are going to LOVE my Prada shoes bought for an awesome £10!!!!!!!!!!

SO starting today – I’m going to be living second-hand. Wish me luck.

This weekend I FINALLY start my volunteering at the Horniman’s Museum in Forest Hill.  I’m really eager to work within education in an arts / heritage role, and working at Horniman’s will hopefully help me to achieve that.

I’ve been going there ever since I moved to South-East London, 15 years ago.  It’s always been a favourite place to just linger and take in the wonderful exhibits, ravaged by time.  Photographing creatures floating in formaldehyde is probably my favourite  pass time  there – not sure I’ll get much chance to do that while I’m working though! ha ha.

Click on the dissected cat – you can see some photos from Horniman’s there

So while I’ve been sick I’ve been knitting and creating patchwork. I started making this one night when I had insomnia and couldn’t face actually working on the computer. I had a bag of bits of fabric from various things I’ve been making so I decided to do a bit of crazy patchwork. I had no idea where I was going with it until my dear friend in the US broke her foot. I’m putting together a ‘care’ parcel for her and this is going to be part of that. A groovy bag. There’s a LOT more work to be done it – not least the embroidery and adding lace/ buttons etc. however it’s something I can do while watching TV so I find it fairly relaxing. Today I put it on some interfacing so I know what bits need filling in. So now it gets REALLY fiddly.

I just really hope she likes it.

As I’ve not been on the computer much I haven’t been making any brushes – however will blog when I do!

VERY bad photo taken with my BlackBerry (crap camera on that phone)

One on the way home from my friend’s, one at Lewisham Peoples’ Day (I was commissioned to photograph the Rocklands stage – which I did with my digital camera – however I did grab a few lomo shots backstage and on stage) and the other in and around our house!  A few of the cats, our toys and figures (Marvin the Martian, Scooby, Brain, Jack Skeleton etc.).

So now I need to get another 2 films finished up and I’m going to send them to Truprint.  Why am I sending it to SUCH a bad printers? Because they won’t play around with them – I’m doing this cheap, cheap, cheap – because that’s the lomo ethos.  However as I am unwaged I’m only going to get them done on disc – 2-5 films for £2.99 – BILLY BARGAIN – I have been looking at other processors who are sympathetic to Lomo – however I just can’t afford it at the moment  Godamnit I need a job.

While I’m finishing those off and waiting for my films to return I will spend my time drooling over other peoples’ Lomo Fisheye shots (I can’t post ALL my faves as some I can’t link to – but there are some amazing ones out there – I’ll link at the bottom to some of my favourite albums):

Those are probably going to look REALLY messy on the page!  Just a selection of what can be done with this extraordinary camera.  I’m looking forward to/ dreading my results.  Hopefully there will be some doozies in there – fingers crossed.

As promised here are some links:

Lomo Fisheye group on Flickr

Lomo UK group on Flickr

Spectrum Imaging – a lab that specialises in Lomography.  I might go to them when I’m working again!

Lomography Fisheye – the official site

I expected it to be in a centre of some sort – however it was in someone’s 2nd floor flat in Notting Hill.  Entering a room of people who are being introduced to meditation is always going to be a bit weird.  You look around you, you check people out, wondering why they’re there.  Are they stressed like you?  Are they searching for something deeper within themselves? Do they believe or are they sceptics?

The talk ensued with some very NLP based language, designed (as I discovered later) to relax us and coerce us.  I was suckered.  Veda Meditation seemed the thing for me (despite the fact that one minute it had been around for 5,000 years, then 10,000 – creationists beware!).  I was excited about the prospect of having my own personal mantra, which would tap into the ‘charm’ and work, apparently, like a charm on my life.  My life would be transformed I was promised, within a couple of weeks.  I wouldn’t give up being human, and having human emotions, but I would be more capable of dealing with them in a rational and calm way.

Added to that, they informed us that there was a ‘sliding scale’ based on your income, that would cover the fees.  They wanted EVERYONE to be able to participate in this wonderful transformation.

After completing a form at the end, I sat around chatting with a few other women about life in general.  Then I was asked if I wanted to go into the other room as I wanted to discuss how much it would cost me.  The other room was a bedroom and the chair I was asked to sit on was a red one.  I wondered why he was so specific! I still don’t know.  Anyway – he gave me a few numbers to calculate how much it would cost me.  I worked it out at £110.  However, he seemed perturbed by this, and stated that the normal fee for students (e.g. the unwaged) would be £250 and that I could pay it in 2 to 3 month installments.  It seemed awfully high however I thought if it was that good then I would find the money.  There had been no mention before of ‘minimum charge’.

After we had all spoken to the guy about ‘money’ I went for a drink with the other girls.  Doubts started creeping in my mind.  Something just didn’t seem right.  It still doesn’t feel right.  I’ve taken the decision based on my gut feelings.  Despite how much I want to learn this skill and use it in my day to day life, at the moment, £250 is a lot of money.  That would mean me finding a ‘spare’ (approx) £75 a month.  Something I just don’t have.

Still, I met some fantastic women, and I’m still on my journey.

So if anyone knows of a Veda meditation class that WON’T cost me £250 for 8 hours then please – let me know!

http://fidgetresources.deviantart.com/

Here you can download LOADS of free brushes and textures from me – ALL for commercial use.  What more could you want? Really, honestly – is there anything more you could want?

Currently I’m designing my first one and it’s taking FOREVER – honestly – so much work goes into these things.  And being the perfectionist that I am I’m sure they’ll take even longer for me.

However, while I’m doing that, I sketched out some Kokeshi dolls yesterday – then coloured them this morning using Photoshop.  I really do love Vectors but sometimes I like something a wee bit rougher (and I struggle with vectors sometimes).

So here they are for sale on Etsy   Offered as .png and .jpeg files.  This is the first set – more to come   I’m going to go back to the V&A later today to get some more ideas for colours and patterns.

Kokeshi Dolls on Etsy - Set 1

Anyway – it’s one of my favourite museums in the city – so we popped along hoping to catch the Baroque exhibition.  However you have to pay for that and as I’m SKINT at the moment we didn’t go in   So instead we wandered around photographing weird stuff – as is my want!

As we were going to get our coats I saw a man in a girly dress … I turned around to catch him better and this girl next to me said ‘isn’t that … erm …’ and his name came to me – Grayson Perry.  I would love to have spoken to him but I don’t like to ‘hassle’ famous people.  What a wonderful sight though, Grayson Perry in full drag – YUMMY!

BBC image - Grayson Perry at Turner Prize

I just think his work is fantastic – and I will always have a place in my heart for someone who will dress like this in public

We then walked to Charing Cross – stopping at Shepherd’s Market for lunch (which I think caused me horrendous belly problems later on).  On the way we also went to Fortnum and Mason.  I’ve never been in there before and was in awe of it’s turquoisy goodness   Such beauty, such prices! ha ha.

Just look at that packaging – beautiful.  I am a SUCKER for packaging.

Unfortunately we also heard the barotone bawling of Christopher Biggins – so we made a hasty exit.

Some I’m not entirely sure about:

However I know that the most important thing is that I’m staying creative.  I think I’m finding my ‘style’ and I just need to STOP RUSHING and concentrate on making it the best it could be.  Unfortunately I don’t take much care in the things I do and rush things.  I should be more attentive.

As you can see from the collage below – I was feeling very ‘springly’ this morning. It didn’t last long as the clouds formed overhead – however while the paint and ink were drying on other works I did this one. I need more colours for my pens – however I liked it I think. It’s just a journal page but I think it’s cute.

Other than that, now that Spring has sprung, photoshoots are coming in.  I have a whole day booked with the beautiful Tree.  Here are some samples of our last shoot together:

We had SO much fun.  This time we’re going to be photographing fire swords and god knows what else in her studio and then at her friend’s house who has a swimming pool.

Then I’m also arranging a shoot with this sublime beauty:

You can’t really see her on here but this is Samantha Hasthorpe – an amazing dancer with Bellydance Superstars.

So I’ve got some fun coming up.

Right … back to more collage making. I’m going to be putting ‘blog’ exclusive digital collage sheets on here soon so keep an eye out!

I’m now finishing my fourth week of unemployment.  I’m bored of my own company (be aware – boredom is not a word usually familiar to me) but I don’t want to see anyone else.  Tonight I was meant to go to a leaving do for someone I used to work with many years ago.  I don’t feel particularly perksome and I really don’t want to spend the time explaining why I left teaching and what I’m (not) doing now.

I want to wallow at the moment which is dangerous.  If I start to wallow then I fall deeper and deeper into my depression.  However I feel it’s somewhat inevitable and sometimes it’s almost pleasurable.  Don’t get me wrong, I despise my depression, however I do acknowledge that my condition is a part of me, and perhaps I need these times to see how positive the rest of my life is.

I’m missing people tremendously.  I’m not going to start naming names but some people have really upset me recently.  I’m unsure what I’ve done to mean that they consistently ignore me – but they do – and it hurts.  Especially when I asked them why and they say it’s not personal – they’re just really busy.  But then you see (ah the joys of modern living) their constant twittering and facebooking and it is just YOU who is being ignored.

Anyway – that’s all for now – this is getting too personal again.