Author Archive for fidgetrainbowtree

16
Sep
09

Living Second-Hand

I’m beginning to realise how much I really truly love second hand things.  There is nothing better than someone saying ”ooooooh I love that, where did you get it from?” and I declare that it was hunted out on a second-hand binge.

So … I’ve decided that as a trial, until December 31st, apart from the obvious (food, toiletries, underwear) everything I’m going to buy is going to be second hand.  This will include Christmas presents.  I know other people have done this, and I’m not doing it for some ‘I’m going to blog this to death’  – it’s simply for me really.  So, I’m afraid that for the people whose birthdays are coming up, your presents are either going to be homemade or recycled!

Recently I’ve had some AWESOME second hand purchases – all of which I’ll photograph at some point – but fashionistas are going to LOVE my Prada shoes bought for an awesome £10!!!!!!!!!!

SO starting today – I’m going to be living second-hand. Wish me luck.

28
Jul
09

Swine Flu

So yes, I’ve been struck down with the dreaded swine flu recently which has resulted in cancelling many plans and feeling dreadful.  It’s starting to leave me now, however I’m being sensible and have cancelled an all day shoot on Sunday.  I was SO looking forward to it, however I would have been working non-stop from 8am – 6pm with no break, and as I have bronchitis as well I just can’t risk it.  It makes a change for me to be sensible it has to be said, usually I’m a complete numpty.

This weekend I FINALLY start my volunteering at the Horniman’s Museum in Forest Hill.  I’m really eager to work within education in an arts / heritage role, and working at Horniman’s will hopefully help me to achieve that.

I’ve been going there ever since I moved to South-East London, 15 years ago.  It’s always been a favourite place to just linger and take in the wonderful exhibits, ravaged by time.  Photographing creatures floating in formaldehyde is probably my favourite  pass time  there – not sure I’ll get much chance to do that while I’m working though! ha ha.

[d i s s e c t i o n] (by The Polstar*)

Click on the dissected cat – you can see some photos from Horniman’s there :)

So while I’ve been sick I’ve been knitting and creating patchwork. I started making this one night when I had insomnia and couldn’t face actually working on the computer. I had a bag of bits of fabric from various things I’ve been making so I decided to do a bit of crazy patchwork. I had no idea where I was going with it until my dear friend in the US broke her foot. I’m putting together a ‘care’ parcel for her and this is going to be part of that. A groovy bag. There’s a LOT more work to be done it – not least the embroidery and adding lace/ buttons etc. however it’s something I can do while watching TV so I find it fairly relaxing. Today I put it on some interfacing so I know what bits need filling in. So now it gets REALLY fiddly.
Crazy patchwork in progress #1 (by The Polstar*) Crazy patchwork in progress #2 (by The Polstar*) Crazy patchwork in progress #3 (by The Polstar*)

I just really hope she likes it.

As I’ve not been on the computer much I haven’t been making any brushes – however will blog when I do!

12
Jul
09

LOMOGRAPHY!

My friend bought a Lomo Fish-eye camera a while back from The Photographers Gallery.  After one film was printed she said she wanted to get rid of it – so I jumped at the chance.  Yesterday, in exchange for one crisp £10 note I purchased her camera and 3 films.  So I am now a proud owner of a Lomo Fisheye camera – I’ve already run off 3 films with it.

VERY bad photo taken with my BlackBerry (crap camera on that phone)

VERY bad photo taken with my BlackBerry (crap camera on that phone)

One on the way home from my friend’s, one at Lewisham Peoples’ Day (I was commissioned to photograph the Rocklands stage – which I did with my digital camera – however I did grab a few lomo shots backstage and on stage) and the other in and around our house!  A few of the cats, our toys and figures (Marvin the Martian, Scooby, Brain, Jack Skeleton etc.).

So now I need to get another 2 films finished up and I’m going to send them to Truprint.  Why am I sending it to SUCH a bad printers? Because they won’t play around with them – I’m doing this cheap, cheap, cheap – because that’s the lomo ethos.  However as I am unwaged I’m only going to get them done on disc – 2-5 films for £2.99 – BILLY BARGAIN :) – I have been looking at other processors who are sympathetic to Lomo – however I just can’t afford it at the moment :(  Godamnit I need a job.

While I’m finishing those off and waiting for my films to return I will spend my time drooling over other peoples’ Lomo Fisheye shots (I can’t post ALL my faves as some I can’t link to – but there are some amazing ones out there – I’ll link at the bottom to some of my favourite albums):

girlaobscura

hiqueseyyasey

tumi

Fisheye fair ride
buzilda

Those are probably going to look REALLY messy on the page!  Just a selection of what can be done with this extraordinary camera.  I’m looking forward to/ dreading my results.  Hopefully there will be some doozies in there – fingers crossed.

As promised here are some links:

Lomo Fisheye group on Flickr

Lomo UK group on Flickr

Spectrum Imaging – a lab that specialises in Lomography.  I might go to them when I’m working again!

Lomography Fisheye – the official site

09
Jul
09

a night like this …

Yesterday I was feeling very, how shall we say … antsy.  Uptight, on edge, teetering on the brink.  I searched the internet for something, anything to help.  Thinking of meditation (this scene is reminiscent of the first time that Manny and Bernard meet in Black Books – “give me the little book of calm, I NEED the Little Book of Calm”) I found a free introductory course being given by the London Meditation Centre – so I went along last night.

I expected it to be in a centre of some sort – however it was in someone’s 2nd floor flat in Notting Hill.  Entering a room of people who are being introduced to meditation is always going to be a bit weird.  You look around you, you check people out, wondering why they’re there.  Are they stressed like you?  Are they searching for something deeper within themselves? Do they believe or are they sceptics?

The talk ensued with some very NLP based language, designed (as I discovered later) to relax us and coerce us.  I was suckered.  Veda Meditation seemed the thing for me (despite the fact that one minute it had been around for 5,000 years, then 10,000 – creationists beware!).  I was excited about the prospect of having my own personal mantra, which would tap into the ‘charm’ and work, apparently, like a charm on my life.  My life would be transformed I was promised, within a couple of weeks.  I wouldn’t give up being human, and having human emotions, but I would be more capable of dealing with them in a rational and calm way.

Added to that, they informed us that there was a ’sliding scale’ based on your income, that would cover the fees.  They wanted EVERYONE to be able to participate in this wonderful transformation.

After completing a form at the end, I sat around chatting with a few other women about life in general.  Then I was asked if I wanted to go into the other room as I wanted to discuss how much it would cost me.  The other room was a bedroom and the chair I was asked to sit on was a red one.  I wondered why he was so specific! I still don’t know.  Anyway – he gave me a few numbers to calculate how much it would cost me.  I worked it out at £110.  However, he seemed perturbed by this, and stated that the normal fee for students (e.g. the unwaged) would be £250 and that I could pay it in 2 to 3 month installments.  It seemed awfully high however I thought if it was that good then I would find the money.  There had been no mention before of ‘minimum charge’.

After we had all spoken to the guy about ‘money’ I went for a drink with the other girls.  Doubts started creeping in my mind.  Something just didn’t seem right.  It still doesn’t feel right.  I’ve taken the decision based on my gut feelings.  Despite how much I want to learn this skill and use it in my day to day life, at the moment, £250 is a lot of money.  That would mean me finding a ’spare’ (approx) £75 a month.  Something I just don’t have.

Still, I met some fantastic women, and I’m still on my journey.

So if anyone knows of a Veda meditation class that WON’T cost me £250 for 8 hours then please – let me know!

06
Jul
09

Fidgetresources on deviantART

I LOVE deviantART – it’s so much easier than Flickr for providing people with free resources.  So here’s the link:

http://fidgetresources.deviantart.com/

Here you can download LOADS of free brushes and textures from me – ALL for commercial use.  What more could you want? Really, honestly – is there anything more you could want?

21
Apr
09

Digital Scrapbooking Kits underway

Although I only occasionally scrapbook, I do do Digital Scrapbooks.  These are usually private pages but I still really enjoy doing them.  Recently they’ve started looking more and more like collages (especially Zetti-style collages) – so I thought I’d look into producing my own Digital Scrapbook Kits for people like me.

Currently I’m designing my first one and it’s taking FOREVER – honestly – so much work goes into these things.  And being the perfectionist that I am I’m sure they’ll take even longer for me.

However, while I’m doing that, I sketched out some Kokeshi dolls yesterday – then coloured them this morning using Photoshop.  I really do love Vectors but sometimes I like something a wee bit rougher (and I struggle with vectors sometimes).

So here they are for sale on Etsy :)   Offered as .png and .jpeg files.  This is the first set – more to come :)   I’m going to go back to the V&A later today to get some more ideas for colours and patterns.

Kokeshi Dolls on Etsy - Set 1

Kokeshi Dolls on Etsy - Set 1

16
Apr
09

grayson perry, christopher biggins, belly ache and procrastination

M and I went to the V&A on Tuesday – I haven’t even looked at my photos yet but I’m sure he’s uploaded his – wait a sec … no he hasn’t … poo.

Anyway – it’s one of my favourite museums in the city – so we popped along hoping to catch the Baroque exhibition.  However you have to pay for that and as I’m SKINT at the moment we didn’t go in :(   So instead we wandered around photographing weird stuff – as is my want!

As we were going to get our coats I saw a man in a girly dress … I turned around to catch him better and this girl next to me said ‘isn’t that … erm …’ and his name came to me – Grayson Perry.  I would love to have spoken to him but I don’t like to ‘hassle’ famous people.  What a wonderful sight though, Grayson Perry in full drag – YUMMY!

BBC image - Grayson Perry at Turner Prize

BBC image - Grayson Perry at Turner Prize

I just think his work is fantastic – and I will always have a place in my heart for someone who will dress like this in public :)

We then walked to Charing Cross – stopping at Shepherd’s Market for lunch (which I think caused me horrendous belly problems later on).  On the way we also went to Fortnum and Mason.  I’ve never been in there before and was in awe of it’s turquoisy goodness :)   Such beauty, such prices! ha ha.

015779_m016435_m

Just look at that packaging – beautiful.  I am a SUCKER for packaging.

Unfortunately we also heard the barotone bawling of Christopher Biggins – so we made a hasty exit.

10
Apr
09

creativity abounds

A contrast to the last post.  Once my computer was fixed and my scanner up and running again I’ve gone into overload.  Some collages I’ve created I love:

Some I’m not entirely sure about:

However I know that the most important thing is that I’m staying creative.  I think I’m finding my ’style’ and I just need to STOP RUSHING and concentrate on making it the best it could be.  Unfortunately I don’t take much care in the things I do and rush things.  I should be more attentive.

As you can see from the collage below – I was feeling very ’springly’ this morning. It didn’t last long as the clouds formed overhead – however while the paint and ink were drying on other works I did this one. I need more colours for my pens – however I liked it I think. It’s just a journal page but I think it’s cute.

Other than that, now that Spring has sprung, photoshoots are coming in.  I have a whole day booked with the beautiful Tree.  Here are some samples of our last shoot together:

We had SO much fun.  This time we’re going to be photographing fire swords and god knows what else in her studio and then at her friend’s house who has a swimming pool.

Then I’m also arranging a shoot with this sublime beauty:

You can’t really see her on here but this is Samantha Hasthorpe – an amazing dancer with Bellydance Superstars.

So I’ve got some fun coming up.

Right … back to more collage making. I’m going to be putting ‘blog’ exclusive digital collage sheets on here soon so keep an eye out!

27
Mar
09

creative lull

My scanner is broken. My trial with Adobe Professional 9.0 is over, and I’m finding myself at a lull.  My big D is hassling me.  Poking away at the back of my mind.  Reminding me that it’s still there.  The meds may keep it at bay but they don’t keep it away permenantly.  It’s always there and sometimes I can ignore the fact – other times I have to acknowledge its prescence and allow it to take hold for a few days.

I’m now finishing my fourth week of unemployment.  I’m bored of my own company (be aware – boredom is not a word usually familiar to me) but I don’t want to see anyone else.  Tonight I was meant to go to a leaving do for someone I used to work with many years ago.  I don’t feel particularly perksome and I really don’t want to spend the time explaining why I left teaching and what I’m (not) doing now.

I want to wallow at the moment which is dangerous.  If I start to wallow then I fall deeper and deeper into my depression.  However I feel it’s somewhat inevitable and sometimes it’s almost pleasurable.  Don’t get me wrong, I despise my depression, however I do acknowledge that my condition is a part of me, and perhaps I need these times to see how positive the rest of my life is.

I’m missing people tremendously.  I’m not going to start naming names but some people have really upset me recently.  I’m unsure what I’ve done to mean that they consistently ignore me – but they do – and it hurts.  Especially when I asked them why and they say it’s not personal – they’re just really busy.  But then you see (ah the joys of modern living) their constant twittering and facebooking and it is just YOU who is being ignored.

Anyway – that’s all for now – this is getting too personal again.

16
Mar
09

I need to stop procrastinating.

My procrastination is a result of my obsession with being a perfectionist apparently.  So I really must stop procrastinating and just bloody do it!

Unfortunately local postal problems means that loads of people think I’ve been crap and not sent things out – I’ve been SUPER and sent them – just that post is going missing left right and centre.  I’ve had 3 items go missing in ONE WEEK!  Hmmm … methinks my postman might be a little bit naughty!  So now I’m going to try and post everything outside of the borough.

Other than that I’m now entering my third week of unemployment – waiting now for my CRB to go through so I can start work.  It’s frustrating beyond belief knowing that I can easily get work – just that the police need to just say ’she’s a lovely person who’s never committed a single offence in her life’ :)

Today then will be spent tidying up and sewing up the Obi Belt and bag I’ve been making.  Oh, as well as creating a few clay creations.

I also want to work on this … I will get there … as my best friend said this weekend, stay doing what you’re good at – you can’t do everything in the world.  I just wish I could!




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